What did I do or not do to make you think that what you did was a good thing at the time you were doing it? Like a raging fire you were handing out your number as fast as you could and before you were even away from me. Trying to make plans to see others and hiding it all. That makes me feel like I am just a time passer for you. And more so, you were relieved to be getting away from me. Wether that be true, I can not help but feel that. You may just be so used to sneaking around that you couldn't be honest with yourself or most important, me. A lie can never be taken back and usually never repaired in ones heart. Everything I thought about you and what you were when you were beefing my feelings up before I came to you is under heavy thought. Why have me here when I am not your number one. You have many avenues in life and I just am not sure that you are ready for this one. Yes it is all new to you but I don't know what to feel, especially what happened so soon after we have just begun. You need other contact than with just me, just happens to be with other females. Females your own age, singles and ones taken. I have not had to be apart of this lifestyle for over 15 years and I am struggling.... it is only day 2. I am struggling with the fact that you left me to find others to keep you company.. via phone, texting and meeting up. Makes me ill and second guess everything I stand for and also why am I still here. Is there enough between us to mend this rift you caused? Can I find it in you, the sincerity of sorriness, for what you did and planned to do. Can I get over the thought that this will happen again and again? When you touch me, am I going to feel that pure touch from you that means I am your only thought of pleasure, what I do, how I do it and why I do it for you. What makes me love you?
What I gave for you Brandon!!!!
