Why

What did I do or not do to make you think that what you did was a good thing at the time you were doing it? Like a raging fire you were handing out your number as fast as you could and before you were even away from me. Trying to make plans to see others and hiding it all. That makes me feel like I am just a time passer for you. And more so, you were relieved to be getting away from me. Wether that be true, I can not help but feel that. You may just be so used to sneaking around that you couldn't be honest with yourself or most important, me. A lie can never be taken back and usually never repaired in ones heart. Everything I thought about you and what you were when you were beefing my feelings up before I came to you is under heavy thought. Why have me here when I am not your number one. You have many avenues in life and I just am not sure that you are ready for this one. Yes it is all new to you but I don't know what to feel, especially what happened so soon after we have just begun. You need other contact than with just me, just happens to be with other females. Females your own age, singles and ones taken. I have not had to be apart of this lifestyle for over 15 years and I am struggling.... it is only day 2. I am struggling with the fact that you left me to find others to keep you company.. via phone, texting and meeting up. Makes me ill and second guess everything I stand for and also why am I still here. Is there enough between us to mend this rift you caused? Can I find it in you, the sincerity of sorriness, for what you did and planned to do. Can I get over the thought that this will happen again and again? When you touch me, am I going to feel that pure touch from you that means I am your only thought of pleasure, what I do, how I do it and why I do it for you. What makes me love you?

What I gave for you Brandon!!!!

I don’t need a lot of things
I can get by with nothing
Of all the blessings life can bring
I’ve always needed something
But I’ve got all I want
When it comes to loving you

I need you like water
Like breath, like rain
There’s a freedom in your arms
That carries me through
I need you

You’re the hope that gives me courage again
You’re the love that rescued me

I need you like mercy
From heaven’s gate

I love you more than anything Brandon...

Devine Intervention

How did this miracle happen?
That we're so very blessed,
So close…and more contented,
Than I ever would have guessed.

I never thought that I
Could spend each precious minute
With just one special person
And find happiness within it.

I know if I hadn't met you,
I wouldn't be really living.

We're facing life together;
We're handling joy and sorrow;
I'm glad you're on my side,
For whatever comes tomorrow.

You're my perfect partner,
Sweet lover, trusted friend.
We're safe within our love,
A love that will never end.

There's a place in your heart nobody's been.
Take me there.
Things nobody knows, not even your friends.
Take me there.
Tell me about your momma, your daddy, your home town, show me around.
I wanna see it all, don't leave anything out.

I wanna know, everything about you.
And I wanna go, down every road you've been.
Where your hopes and dreams and wishes live, where you keep the rest of your life hid.
I wanna know the boy behind those tattoos.
Take me there.

Where you learned about life, spent your summer nights, without a care.
Take me there.
I wanna roll down mainstreet and backroads like you did when you were a kid.
What makes you who you are, tell me what your story is.

I wanna know, everything about you.

You will never be without

I ache for you everyday, Brandon. Waiting and waiting.... I am making my mind go non stop with the thought of being with you. Are you serious? Dead serious? Completely Serious? 100% Serious?. I am ready to just walk away from everything to be in your arms. I am scared too. I embrace every word you give me and they feed my need for you. I have needs that I never would have known if I hadn't met you. From the moment I encountered you, the first few words you spoke and the way you carried yourself I knew you were exactly what I had been searching for and never knew it! Until then I had settled for everything that I never wanted. After then you are everything I dreamed of. Your age is young but your mind is mature. Are you ready to be settled into a life? No more running? No more wondering? The trials I have underwent to get to where I am at today, I never will wish that path on anybody. Their are many things that are very complicated, sad and depressing. I should really be living on the streets and be completely addicted to meth with a need for alcohol. But the only thing I am addicted to is YOU and chapstick. I am ready to enjoy you and I want you to enjoy me and appreciate everything that will happen in our daily lives. Not because it is necessary but because it comes natural.

These extras that you say you are going to do just for me to come to you are overwhelming, Brandon. I don't need new paint or a rug, but if that is what it takes for you to feel good inside, then thats what it takes. It is over whelming because your need to provide comfort is tremendous. What my feet will feel like on a rug, or the color of paint that my eyes will look at everyday to the hook on the wall. I love you for what you are doing for us.

I want to hold your hand everyday and walk thru life with you. I will provide every emotional need you have and give you all that is in me. I will love your family and treat them as my own. You will never be without. I will spank your bottom when you are bad..:) and embrace you when you are good. <3.....

The Way You Make Me Feel

Hey Sexy Baby With The Tattos on
You Give Me Fever Like I've Never, Ever Known
You're Just A Product Of Handsomeness
I Like The Groove Of Your Walk,Your Talk,Your Voice
I Feel Your Fever From Miles Around
I'll Pick You Up In My Car And We'll Paint The Town

Just Kiss Me Baby And Tell Me Twice
That You're The One For Me
The Way You Make Me Feel
You Really Turn Me On
You Knock Me Off Of My Feet
My Lonely Days Are Gone

I Like The Feelin' You're Givin' Me
Just Hold Me Baby And I'm In Ecstasy
Oh I'll Be Workin' From Nine To Five
To Buy You Things To Keep You By My Side
I Never Felt So In Love Before
Just Promise Baby, You'll Love Me Forevermore
I Swear I'm Keeping You Satisfied 'Cause You're The One For Me

Ain't Nobody's Business,But Mine And My Baby
You Really Turn Me On, You Knock Me Off Of My Feet
Give It To Me, Give Me Some Time
Come On Be My Baby, I Wanna Be With Mine